BET Awards = Beyonce Excellent Tranny Awards
Ok, someone needs to tell Miss Knowles to back up just a tad. Last night at the BET Awards, Destiny's firstborn Child put on an over-the-top performance like no other. The awards decided to turn last night's show into a tribute to Michael Jackson - 'cause he like, died 'n stuff - and Miss Honey thought it would be the perfect time to put the queens of Paris is Burning to shame.
The show was already weird enough: CNN's cutie-pie reporter (and former Philly broadcaster) Don Lemon was covering the red carpet arrivals and snagged an interview with MJ's abuser - uh... father - that was awkward and uncomfortable, to put it nicely. (Sister Janet stunned the audience by popping up on stage for a few seconds and giving a very touching speech. The subsequent "song tribute" by show host Jamie Foxx was so painfully off-putting I suggest avoiding it. )
Miss Thang - Missy Knowles, not Foxx - takes to the stage a la Streisand, complete with insane backlighting and more wind-blowers than J-Lo and does a stomach turning rendition of Ave Maria. Fair enough, it's a tribute show but this treacly porridge made me menstrual.
But here's where it gets totally fucking hilarious: A crew of "fairies" or some shit take to the stage (2:00+ mark) and swath Miss Honey in miles of white fabric. Even better is when the close-up shot is revealed: Sasha Fierce has magically turned into a wave of white-winged dove messiness. It made her mother's crap from House of Dereon look like couture. It gets better and better, culminating in a back-lit laser show straight out of The Who's 1979 performance of Won't Get Fooled Again in The Kids Are Alright (4:00+ mark). I'm sure plenty of folks thought this was "touching" and "heartfelt" and other words that make me want to stab my eyes with knitting needles. I thought it was hypnotically funny, and felt it was a perfect capper to NYC's Gay Pride Weekend and the 40th Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. (Her dress was more violent, trust.)
What do you think? Fantabulous or flatulent?
Watch the video and then post your thoughts below.
EDITOR'S NOTE:
Viacom keeps puling the Sasha Fierce and Miss Jackson If You're Nasty clips off YouTube. If they go down we'll try and find new ones to post. (If they're gone when you get here, just use the YouTube search box that appears and type in Beyonce BET and Janet Jackson BET and hit enter.) If you can't find 'em, just trust us when we say it was dragalicious.
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Amateur
Beyonce's corpse bride dress is a direct rip off of the Sydney Opera House costumes in Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert. Hard as she tries she is a poor imitation of a drag queen. Guy Pearce looked better AND his dress lit up, better luck next time Beyonce.
Vicious Tongues! Hateful Queers! Vindictive Drag Queens!
I have defend my diva goddess, Beyonce, from all of your horrible, mean-spirited, jealous comments! You all wished that you could be the most fabulous, stylish, and gorgeous woman that she truly is! Well, no, not for you bitches, not even in another life--if you even make it across to the other side! I can just snap my fingers and--you'll all vanish!
NOT!
Yes, I'm a vicious, hateful, vindictive drag queen...
... and you love me anyway.
Defense of the Realm
First off, you don't have to defend him/her... you're opting to.
I do not wish to be the most fabulous, stylish, and gorgeous (wo)man.
This life is fine "as is" thank you very much. Except for Snapple. I still hate it.
And I'm not sure what side you mean: Heaven or the U.K.
(Or do you mean Heaven in the U.K. - although that club is kinda tired.)
Didn't Heaven close down?
I remember doing many-a-bumps there. Ahhh memories.
-hart
Bouncey Knowless
What a cow! I'm not sure why she was singing Ave Maria. Perhaps that's her new drag persona!? The Jacksons believe in Jehova not Mary or Christ. Get a clue gurl! What a slap in the face! Get huh! That's like serving Hasidic Jews a pig snout! Once again Keeneye you have hit the Lee press-on nail on the head!
Pressing Me and Knowing You... Uh Huhhhhhhhhh!
Thanks Joey. I changed the name you attributed to me merely to protect my identity and to keep the paparazzi at bay.
(They're always up my ass.)
Loved your comments - you are indeed dead on. Tens across the board to you!
Two words...
Corpse Bride
I'm bleeding now too
I'm bleeding now too Keneeye...from my EARS.
Put a finger IN it
She needs to be stopped. Does her husband know she did this?
So wait...
Was this at The Love Ball Saturday Night? or Trocadero 100 years ago?
I just think, what would have made it better, would have been if she ended with "Put a Ring on It" nothing says Amen to Ave Maria, like "ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!"
OMFG it's Natasha, kids!!!!!!!!!
Ok, NOW we know we've made it. The one and only Luxx55 diva herself has posted a comment on HOMOPOP.com. I dunno even know what the fuck she just said, I'm just moist beyond belief that she took the time to read us - as in "read text"... not "read us for filth." OMG honey, those Trocadero suarets of yours back in the day have yet to be equaled. Thanks for posting! xoxoxo
NATASHA!!!!
I'm moist too! We need to hook up and have you contribute. seriously. email me: khart@homopop.com.
-hart
I WATCHED THE WHO CLIP A
I WATCHED THE WHO CLIP A BUNCH OF TIMES THANKS. CANT WATCH THE OTHER ONE I MIGHT DIE.
We still get fooled
The only thing funnier than Beyonce's white chiffon swirlies would have been The Who doing "Beat It" with "The Kids Are Alright" lasers slicing though the background. Or better still, The Who or Pete Townsend performing "The Kids Are Alright" (snicker snicker) in red leather jackets and "Bad's" bondage buckle-up outfits.
Draggy good times
great post! very funny and mean - just the way i like it.
Shut her up please.
So.
Sick.
Of.
Bouncy.
Is that a House of Derion costum... I mean "dress?" Le tacky.
Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy?
You unknowingly made another Who reference, Mr. Punch!
And no - the dress is not Dereon. It's Derriere-On.