stupidity beyond belief

Normally I never go after people's political or religious beliefs (it gets too messy, no one ever wins the argument, and if you're about to have sex with someone any talk of things bi-partisanshippy or of Biblical plagues have a tendency to make me "wilt," if you get my meaning) but this post from today's Washington Times is just too good to pass up and not semi-snarkily comment on.

Under their "Analysis and Opinion" column someone named Rebecca Hagelin (who will be referred to as Hag from here on out) babbled on in a piece called "The Plague of Porn" how "It's critical to understand that consuming porn is never just "harmless entertainment" and "Like a toxic plague, pornography usage is sweeping our nation and destroying our humanity." Really? A toxic plague? Destroying our humanity? What about gambling, ciggies and booze - all legal and backed by powerful lobbyists who reside in the fair city from which your daily takes its namesake.

My favorite misnomer? Oh gurl, it's just gotta be this honey-of-an-O:

Just when you thought Madison Avenue couldn't stoop any lower - or come up with an ad campaign more retarded - those health-conscious debutantes at Burger King® have bestowed upon us mere mortals an ad campaign that will appeal solely to three demographics: The anti-Food, Inc. crowd who get their daily dose of vitamins from Kool-Aid®, horny suburban husbands whose wives check their computers daily for any signs of porn, and 12-year olds who think that getting whacked in the nuts is hilarious. Moreover, it's painfully obvious that a straight man came up with this campaign:

One:
What queen would think that a mere seven inches would blow one's mind away?
Two:
Miss Thing's mouth isn't opened wide enough to accommodate said inches.
Three:
No gay man would make an allusion to cum via A.1.®'s Thick & Hearty Steak Sauce.

Click here to see the actual BK® ad that made the web rounds yesterday, and click here have it your way and view our glorious mock-up in all it's equally retarded full-size glory.